Feels bad, man

So I watched Manchester United vs Barc game last night. Let me just put it like this:

When Pedro (who?) scored Barc's first goal,


I was like:


But when Rooney scored a goal to make it even:


I was like:


BUT when Messi scored a goal to make it 2-1 for Barc:


I was like:


Finally some asshole player of Barc scored another goal to humiliate United:


I was like;


And then I went back to sleep even before the game's over. Too much pain to handle. Fuck you Barc.

P fucking S. This is my 69th post. I've something dirty going on my mind right now.

Do you know why platypus is called platypus?

I don't. But there's something more important about to happen now. Within 6/7 hours from now there's gonna be a HUGE ASS match between Manchester United vs Barc (I'm not a fan, that's why I will not type their name fully). I'm nervous like crazy right because I just always get nervous everytime a big and important match about to happen. There are several things that make me nervous;

1. Everybody (who's son of a cunt) is saying that Barc is gonna win the match.
Okay, that hurts, asshole. Don't you know it's Manchester motherfucking United that we're talking about not some amateur football club. Barc might just won their La Liga trophy this season, so fucking what? we just won our 19th EPL title too. The only team beside Barc that people really give a shit in La Liga is Real Madrid, while we got ourself tight competition here where we have to face lots of cunts like CUNTshea, ARSEnal and Liverp (I will not type their name fully too because I'm not a fan) and we made it.

2. Barc has Messi
To be quite honest, I never really watch him play. I'm basically biased when it comes to football match, I will not watch anything that doesn't have United in it. But from what I saw in some football highlight every morning (that's right, I now always wake up early in the morning, that's just how amazing my life is now) and I saw that this little fella's got pretty amazing skill in dribbling and making goal. He's dangerous, that's obvious. Ever since that douchebag Ronaldo left United, we basically got no player with that kind of skill. But I keep telling myself not to worry because Messi is still a human, he's not a God, no need to be afraid of him. He eat like we eat, he drink like we drink, he has money while we don't.

3. It's van der Saar's last game
and I'm sad. The man has been my new hero. It's just sad to see him go. He's been a vital player to our success. It's not really nervous, actually more like sad.

4. I'm worrying that I won't be able to wake up when the game's on the TV.
This is why I want to move away from the shit hole country that I'm living at now. I always have to watch every big matches at 2/3 in the morning. That's not cool! Don't you know how sleepy one can be when one must wake up in the middle of the night? BUT, fuck that shit, it's Manchester fucking United, that shit is a minor thing compared to the amazing experience that I'm about to watch later. I'll say let's win this thing, United!



UPDATE:
*sigh*

Knock Knock. Who's there?

It's me Jesus, I'm delivering pizza.


and that's the first post for this May! more unfunny posts will come.