Knock Knock. Who's there?

It's me Jesus, I'm delivering pizza.


and that's the first post for this May! more unfunny posts will come.

I'm a nice person

Let me tell you why. First, after my last post about me predicting Man United's winning over CUNTshea, I look smart but I never brag about it. Second of all, I didn't insult Chelsea's fan, even though I have the chance, and the third of all, this is why you're gonna love me so very fucking much, I have a canv.as invitation for whoever wants it. That's right, fuckers, I shit you not. I got 2 invitation actually, but I'm saving one for my imaginary friend, and I'm gonna donate the other one for you.

For those who don't know what canv.as is, I don't blame you, it's a closed site where you can't just go check it out, you need an invitation first so you can make an account there. How did I get my invitation? I had to pay it for 80 bucks.. pffft. NO. I visited canv.as everyday like a loser, clicking the asking for invitation button 20 times a day, and I finally got one 2 days ago. Canv.as is like a bastard son of 4chan and reddit. You must be thinking '4chan? ah fuck no, those people are gross'. No need to worry, it's a SFW site, so there'll be no obvious goatse or porn pics. So basically, it's a place where one post a pic and you can remix/edit the pic. Sounds boring? fuck you. It's fun, esp. if you have good sense of humor and you can use Photoshop or Paint.

This is the layout of Canv.as, pretty neat compared to 4chan, right?

See the '2 invites' at the upper right corner? I wasn't lying when I said I have them.

The example of the fun:
negatendo posted this pic


procrastes remixed it into this:


anonymous posted this


Pretty fun, eh? Now, if you want an invite, just give me your email, I'll send it right away. You know you want it. You can inbox me on my facebook.

UPDATE: I got 9 more invites to give to you all. Bless Raptor Jesus.

I don't blog, but when I do....

Nothing happens actually, the sky still shining brightly like a little bitch and the birds still singing their favorite song. I must warn you first, this is gonna be a daily bitching, so it's gonna full of long rant about what just happened in my life.... NOT. Okay, who wants to fucking read that anyway, this is not a diary blog, this is a shitty blog full of miscellaneous things from movie to music, but definitely not a diary blog. Beside I'm not a celebrity who flashes their tits to the camera daily or leak some sex tape monthly, who wants to know the fuck I just did (except my Mom).

Anyway, within couple of hours, there's gonna be a big match between Manchester Fucking Awesome United versus CUNTshea! I predict that it's not gonna be an easy match since CUNTshea is a bitch, it would've been easy if CUNTshea is a whore (get it? from the line: life's a bitch, it'd be easy if it's a whore). The first leg will be played at Stamford Bridge, though United's away record is not something to be proud of, we all still can hope if shit happens in the first leg, we can still fix it at our beloved home, Old Trafford. It's gonna be a tough game since Chelsea will put all their concentration in Champions League, because their chance in winning EPL is, let's say, only 5%. lol.

Those bastards want to win something this season but we won't let them do that. Why we should keep our positive thought? United's Champions League record against Chelsea is pretty awesome (remember the final? Hurrah!), the boys are on fire after their amazing comeback against West Ham, third one is that the pressure is on Chelsea, not us, if we don't win this, we still have a huge chance to win the FA or EPL. Why we should be worry? Like I said before, the game is held at Stamford Bridge, our boys play better at home. But that's 3 positive things against 1 negative shit, so I'll say, we'll fucking win this game. Go Go United! Fuck yeah!



PS. check out this link: Five ways Manchester United can beat Chelsea

South Park's Best Episode from the Season 14

So, I'm making a poll for the first time, and it's for you South Parkateer, what is the best episode from season 14?

I personally will choose It's a Jersey Thing, man that episode cracked the shit out of me.




PS. As you can see, there's an ad on my blog, Google Adsense finally approved my request, please click the ad, you are a very wonderful person, Jesus loves you long time.. (Wow, I've never thought I could be a huge ass kisser like this.)

The Ghost of a Saber Tooth Tiger - an album review

Pretty cool album cover I must say

Guy on the left: I've got an awesome Dad, Girl on the right: My boyfriend's got an awesome Dad

.

After having a very successful review of Little Joy's album (lol..wut? nobody gave any shit about it, dude), I decided to review an album by The Ghost of a Saber Tooth Tiger, a pretty underrated band consists of Sean Lennon, the darling son of John 'King of Hippies' Lennon (don't get me wrong, I'm a huge fan of John 'King of Hippies' Lennon, I think hippies are cool) and his girlfriend, a supermodel, Charlotte Muhl. So, here's what Wikipedia said about them:

The Ghost of a Saber Tooth Tiger was formed in 2008 by musician Sean Lennon and his girlfriend, musician/model Charlotte Kemp Muhl. The name of the band is from a short story once written by Muhl.[1] Kemp and Lennon met in 2004 at the Coachella Music Festival. In an interview with the UK publication The Daily Telegraph Lennon commented on their relationship: "Charlotte hadn’t even heard "Strawberry Fields Forever" when I met her," Lennon said. "And she knew nothing about my mum. Her parents thought I was just a delinquent, by virtue of association with the famous hippie delinquents. So it was nice because it was like a bridging of gaps and a collision of galaxies."

From the band's name you probably gonna expect a heavy metal kind of shit, but to disappoint you, they are not. The sound of GOASTT's music is like this sweet French folk pop. Though at first it's kinda hard to differ one song with another since they sound almost the same and I guess that's one of the album's weakness. To make it simpler, just imagine you are listening to sweeter album than She and Him's. Still, this is a great album to listen to when you're trying to relax or maybe even when it's raining, cause well you know to get all melancholy shit gets more real. It'll make you mind experiencing a journey to a weird but beautiful surreal place...the fuck am I talking about, anyway, some said that Sean and Charlotte are like John and Paul, but of course not in the same awesome level as John and Paul (duhhh). I sometimes hate but also feel bad for Sean, I meant he lost his Dad when he was a little boy, people keep comparing him and his awesome Dad and expecting him to be as good as his awesome Dad but again when I just start to give him a sympathy, I stop and think again, Motherfucker got a song written by his Dad for him (Beautiful Boy, Darling Sean is my fave song ever), he can play lots of music instruments, AND his Dad's music keep giving him enough money to go have a holiday every fucking day. I just stop feeling bad about him and hate him again.

So, I know you don't want to read crap that I just wrote, you just want to download the album, right? here it is:

click me and make piracy even more powerful

AND, one more thing, you must not confused the name GOASTT with 4chan's GOATSE. Make sure you type and spell it correctly, damn it... (If you don't know what Goatse is, and you have weak stomach, try not to Google it... or Google it, I heard some hospitals are in financial problems, you can help them by getting sick and give them some moolah).

PS. I love John Lennon, have I said that before? fuck it. I'm gonna say it again, I love John Lennon.

Blasphemy! This is madness! Madness? This is I SHIT YOU NOOOTTT! (part 2)

OMFG, I can't believe I actually made the second part. Do you remember the first part? of course you dont. The Part 1 (here) was about the funny pics of Jesus and then now the second part Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm gonna show you funny pics of..... (drum roll please)...still, our mighty Jesus! Hurraahhh!

Jesus, what are boobies?

To Kim Kardashi--uhm, I meant whores! Cheers!

No wonder Dunkin Donuts taste like heaven

Return the baby Jesus, damn it!

Jeebus loves to play hide and seek. lol.

You don't fuck with this Cyborg Pirate Ninja Jesus, cause He fucks you!

the amazing incredibly super duper awesome Year end personal list

Holy hell, it's been awhile since I the last time I opened my incredibly amazing blog (lol.. wut?). The world just celebrated Christmas and New Year is coming within 2 days to rape your bank account with the party bill. Anyway, to end this year, I'm gonna make some lists about movies. These are personal lists, so if you don't like it you can insult mine and then you can make your own personal lists so I can insult back. It's a win win and everybody's happily insulting each other. Before I started, I need to inform that I haven't watched Black Swan, King's Speech, Winter's Bone and 127 Hours, and Rabbit Hole, so the list still can be changed.

The Most Entertaining Movies (not in order):

1. Twilight 'Eclipse'.... lol, just kidding, that movie sucks major donkey balls. It's Toy Story 3.

Okay, just because the title always reminds you of the old Toy Story--a children movie--that doesn't mean that this one is for children too. I can guarantee you that this one is also suitable for an adult. You can apply this movie to your own life, I meant, we all used to have our favorite toys (even if your parents are so cheap, and the only toy that you ever had was a tiny rock that you found lying on the street near public restroom and it smelled funny too) and a phase where you grew up and finally left all the childhood toys behind. Have you ever thought about what would your toys felt when you left them? I didn't, but this movie made me thought about it.

2. Kick Ass

See my lame review about the movie, here.

3. Scott Pilgrim vs the World

"We are sex Bob-Omb and we're here to make you think about death and get sad and stuff!" Apart from the kick ass soundtrack and the quotable lines in the movies, this underrated piece of germs is shitload of geeky and pop culture fun!

The Best Endings (not in order):

1. Splice

It started just an okay, in the end this movie will probably gross you out or maybe even fuck your mind up. I did enjoy watching this because my mind got its own shield protection and can not be fucked up easily, I was born that way and I never complain. lol. I'm not a major fan of sci fi movies, but this one's pretty under underrated. To simplified everything, just imagine that you are watching a darker and more serious version of Species with less sex scene and shocking ending.

2. Ghost Writer

Okay, I gotta admit, I almost fell asleep while watching the movie but the ending left me saying, 'holy shit, dude...'. Even though the movie's pretty good, I still can not forgive Roman Polanski for being such an asshole pedo.

3. Remember Me

It was surprisingly a good drama. All actors even the footface, Robert Pattinson were doing a great job in building the intensity of the movie. I was surprised that I did enjoy the movie, esp. the ending. Lots of people bitch about the ending, I am one of those little group of human race that actually love the ending.

The Biggest Fails (not in order):

1. Last Airbender

M. Night Shyamalamaladingdong really fucked up the decent material that he got. I'm not a fan of Aang but I do watch it sometimes and it's really not bad and I can see why lots of people like it. When I heard that they were gonna make this into a movie with real person and shit, I was "okay, that sounds fun". But then BAM! Fucking hell, from the very first 10 mins I knew that this movie was gonna be a painful experience. Fuck you once again, M Night Shyamalamaladingdong! First you stole 2 hours of my life when I watched the Happening now you stole another hour of my life.

2. The Expendables

Shit, Sly... You got yourself a dream cast for all action movies, but why did you fuck the movie up!? Fuck. The movie would have been better had they given it to be directed by a better director. What a shame.

3. Clash of the Titans

This movie is no Jason and the Argonauts. Everything just seems so dull even the lead cast, Sam Worthington. The guy was the lead cast in the highest grossing movie of all time and also the most overrated movie last year, he also took part in the new Terminator movie but still lots of people don't even know his existence. At first the movie looked very nice, you know with all the cool poster and trailer but then I tried to watch it and found nothing interest me. That's sad because I'm a huge fan of movie based on ancient Greek legend.

The Best Performances (not in order):

1. Chloe Moretz as Hit-Girl (Kick Ass)

She's that little girl in the movie Big Momma's House and also Tom Hansen's wise sister from movie 500 Days of Summer but not many people notice that, and then she starred in Kick Ass as Hit-Girl, BAM! Everybody turned their head and said, "Holy shit, that girl is awesome!". (Source: Personal experience). I do believe she's gonna be something in the future, let's just hope fame and fortune in Hollywood won't fuck her up like they did to Britney Spears, Lindsay lohan, etc etc etc.

2. Emma Stone as Olive (Easy A)

The first time Emma Stone got to be the lead cast and she did it awesomely. It's like a one man (or more like girl?) show for her. She's got the perfect comedic timing and carried the movie herself. They also got another funny lady here, Lisa Kudrow, but Emma got all the attention and she really deserves it. She's the next big thing, you just wait.

3. Tahar Rahim as Malik El Djebena (Un prophète)

Like Emma Stone, this is his first role as lead actor in a big screen and the guy did it awesomely too. Some even said that he's the next Al Pacino, that is awesome, I mean how many actor got that kind of compliment in their first role as lead actor. Another rising star in European Cinema.

Well, that's it for now. My brain has stopped working again, like usual. I'm trying to make the same list about music but since music is way too wide to cover, I'm still considering whether to do it or not. Happy fucking New Year, btw.